Woman Gives Engagement Ring Back to Fiancé When She Overhears Why He’s Stalling on Marrying Her, Refuses To Be Strung Along After a 4-Year Engagement

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 26, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Many women hope to find somebody who will commit to them for the rest of their lives. The concept of marriage is a promise. Both partners legally (and sometimes, religiously) vow to be with their partners through sickness and in health, through thick and thin, forever. Of course, many people who end up getting married don't stick with each other for the rest of their lives, but the fact that somebody, at some point, decided that you were their forever person is something special, without any hesitation.

The woman in this Reddit story is left dumbfounded when she overhears her fiancé and his friends talking about how marriage is the beginning of the end. Typical toxic masculinity talk. Her fiancé responds with a disrespectful remark, saying that's why he's been "dragging" his feet the last four years, which is the total amount of time the couple has been engaged. Instead of making a big deal, the woman has a conversation with her fiancé that results in her giving the engagement ring back to him. No commitment, no ring.

Advertisement
  • 01
    been dragging my feet on marriage" and the guys just laughed and said "don't do it man, it's a trap" etc etc. It really hurt me, but I figured it was just 'locker room talk' and tried my best to move on.
    via Unsplash (Fruit Basket)
  • 02
    AITA for giving my ring back after my fiancé made a comment to his guy friends regarding why we haven't gotten married?
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 03
    My fiancé and I (both 30) have been together for 8 years and engaged for 4 years. We got engaged right before really hit and obviously that put a huge halt on any sort of planning and then from there forward, life events halted it more (became
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 04
    homeless, ended up pregnant and having our child, now we are back on our feet but not financially where we could be YET). Back roughly 5 months ago (ish) I brought up marriage and basically approached the idea of
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 05
    having a backyard wedding and a pot luck. Basically going cheap because I don't really care so much about the wedding or price or whatever. I just want to wear a pretty dress and have all eyes on me and get married to the love of
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 06
    my life. I don't care about the expensive bells and whistles. When I brought it up he told me that that wouldn't be a bad idea and that we could 'probably' try planning for July-ish 2025. Okay! But we haven't really talked about it since that point,
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 07
    as other came up. Here's the issue though.. back about a month ago we were down to our neighbors home (people who have grown to be really good friends since we moved here 1.5 years ago). I was hanging out
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 08
    with the neighbors wife and her best friend. My fiancé was hanging out with a group of 3-4 guys, having beers and working on vehicles. Well, one of the guys there was talking about his wife and said "once you get married, everything
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 09
    stops" (I overheard in the middle of the conversation so I have no idea what "stops" during marriage but it was a negative comment irregardless). But anyways, my fiancé then starts laughing and goes "that's why I've
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 10
    been dragging my feet on marriage" and the guys just laughed and said "don't do it man, it's a trap" etc etc. It really hurt me, but I figured it was just 'locker room talk' and tried my best to move on.
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 11
    But like.. I couldn't let it go. It sat in the back of my head. So a couple weeks ago I brought up getting married again and just ran some ideas by him on simple things (like what he saw our wedding colors being) and he shut
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 12
    down a bit and said something to the affect of "I think we need to weigh the pros and cons of being married first" and shut down the conversation. Instant plunge to my gut, honestly. So I walk
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 13
    outside to calm myself down but I just couldn't shake it honestly. So I went back inside and calmly handed him my ring back and asked him what he wanted for dinner. I didn't want to make a big deal so there
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 14
    was no yelling, no crying, nothing. I was calm and moved on. But he instantly asked me what I was doing and why I gave the ring back. So I mentioned his comment to his buddies about dragging his feet and now his comments about
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 15
    needing to wait and weigh the pros and cons before going through with anything and told him I don't want to wait, nor do I want to get my hopes up for a marriage that he's clearly changed his mind about so I would rather he have the ring back and
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 16
    go in to this without the sound of wedding bells in my head. Let's just move on, basically. We can still be together but I don't want my hopes up. Well,
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 17
    he got extremely defensive. Started saying "I'm not saying it's not going to happen" or "you're being extreme for no reason". AITA?
    via No-Rhubarb-8555
  • 18
    . DesperateToNo... 4h ago • "We need to weigh the pros and cons" he's had FOUR YEARS since proposing to think about that. He absolutely doesn't want to get married; if he did, you would be.
    via DesperateToNotDream
  • 19
    Key_Bluebird_6... 4h ago I'd dump him. If, after all this time and all you've been through, he is still not wanting to make that commitment he never will.
    via Key_Bluebird_6104
  • 20
    thisisstupid- • 4h ago You are giving him wife privileges without the vows, that would stop right now if it was me. NTA.
    via thisisstupid-
  • 21
    Grumpy_Lurker . 4h ago • NTA. If you want to stay in this relationship, you absolutely should be realistic about what you can expect from it. He is not being honest about what he wants, and you're right to insist that he start.
    via Grumpy_Lurker
  • 22
    Equivalent-Art-... • 4h ago You're not the a h le here. You deserve someone who is excited to marry you and commit to your future together. If your fiancé is having second thoughts, maybe it's the right time to reassess your relationship with him
    via Equivalent-Art-1535

Tags

toxic-boyfriend Dating-Relationships boyfriend relationship advice bride marriage entitlement drama wedding planning relationship-drama reddit story relationships sneaky wedding advice relationship feud brides entitled planning Reddit toxic relationship dating entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article